I'm Not Okay

what a big fagot this guy truly is

2006-07-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

since i made this multiply account, a lot of people has been visitng and veiwing it. some friends other, classmates. In return I also visit their multiply account. And then i see this *feeling emo dude, and commented on his writings. I clearly remember that i have replied to his writings positiveley as in ZERO signs of negative energy. Then this "smokefree" dude replied to my photos in a negative way. man, WTF?! he also blocked me from veiwing his multiply, I mean how FAGOTY is that? post post ka ng masama sakin tapos b-block mo ko. kabadingan amp.

ANYWAY to this, *smokefree* dude, kung gusto mo ng basag ulo, cge lang basag ulo tayo. Isa kang tunay na bading sa ginawa mo chong. Isa kang tunay na pekpek. haha. fuck you sucker.

.as seen on my multiply.

weird dream

2006-07-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

Weirdest dream ever. I sleep on top of the double deck in my room. Just this morning I had a dream while I was taking a nap at 7:30am. The weirdest dream, not to mention the most stressfull dream ever hit me so far has caught up in my sleep. grabe. tragic love story. When I woke up from that dream, I said to myself, bullshit, why did I ever woke up. And then I started to punch the wall next to my closet, nakakaasar talaga. Nakaka depress sobra pero nakaka inspire rin at nakaka inlove. haha. mainlove ba naman sa character sa panaginip. bastos. haha. pero ayun. weirdest mas weird tungkol dun sa dream ko tungkol kay nicklette. sigh.

i feel like im two

2006-06-01T11:47:00.000+08:00

so much has been happening lately.

okay. i apologize for not updating my blog. hey, its my blog anyway.

after the high-school graduation. so much has changed in so little time. My appearance is one and the way how i think and see things is another. Ive changed a lot since that time.

Physicaly im much more bigger than before. if you thought i was big back in high school, wait till you see my newly developed abs and biceps. yup, ive been working out. not in body gym but just inside my house. me and my dad have equipments here. Im much more darker in skin collor. if im brown the last time we met, now im black. why? ive been training for ROTC charlie batch officers. But with no regrets in my mind i quit. why did I quit? cause i dont want to waste my summer in some stuff i am already adept at. man, even ranelle (highschool classmate) can do the stuff their, its just a matter of priotities. I have now short hair. as short talaga. why? like i said, ROTC training. its forbiden to have long hair there. I have much more resistance than before because now, i can bike 100km a day, swim 200m, and run 10km one after another. im practicing cause sometime this year i want to join a triatlon. you know what that means? get a dictionary if you dont. thats about all the physical change.

My skills in things im doing is also improving. like mentioned earlier i can now bike 100km a day, swim 200m and run 10km a day. My ability to play the guitar has also changed tremendously. from a guitar dude to a total guitar freak. not that im bragging, but this is the truth and im proud of it. my skill in singing also change a lot since then. I can now growl, ascend to convert falseseto, hollowdeep sing. remember hyde? i can reach and imitate him now, the ones i can never do before. amazing huh? its amazing how much ive changed in so little time. complete change.

well not absolutley.

Some things still never change, example, my goofy side, yup its still there. mapangasar parin ako pero humina naman na. mahilig parin magpatawa and more or less the same personality. People see me as the kind of first impression dude. But im not that. there's something more than meets the eye. its just a matter of choice of wanting to see my ture,real side or my ususal side. Maski mga REAL friends ko kasusapin nyo, as in REAL talaga ah. HxH is one. you'll find me real different from others and from my ordinary/usual side. masyado na bang detailed? hah.

This past summer ive developed an unusual skill. and im not telling.

man, ive still got so much to say. but thats that for now. haha. fuck you loosers.

yehey! update!

2006-04-24T15:11:00.001+08:00

woooh! ang kukulet nyo! lalo ka na annie!

ehem. due to public demand. i will now update my blog. (whatever talaga)

err. where to start. okaaaay. I got my bike about 3 weeks ago. that 24000+ black, original KHS and deora parts, minatou fork and borla horns bike. i mean wow. what more would i want? (a hot girl waiting for me in my room. hehe) kidding aside, yeah you read it right. 24000+ pesos for a bike. thats good enough for me. hindi pa naman ako professional biker at wala pa naman akong pambili ng mga 300000+ bikes na carbon fiber. yup. umaabot ang mga professional racer bikes ng 300k PLUS. ayos noh? anyway the other day, me and my dad was taking part at the 8th "tour of the fireflies" man, it was soooo cool. my first bike tour ever. ang raming tao. astig nga eh. ayun. tapos kasama namin si Col. Ojeda, upper class ni papa, biker rin. basta marami military person dun. nandun pa nga si kuya francis eh. yung bomberman na family friend namin. yup bomberman. kulet noh? hehe. ay basta. ayun. natapos ko na nga pala yung suikoden5. under my belt na.suikoden 1 nalang talaga hinahanap ko tapos lahat ng suikoden tapos ko na. yehey. :D tinatapos ko ngayon ay MS Saga a new dawn. tungkol sa mga robots. ay! speaking of robots! yung laban ko nga pala with the present crimson raven ay talo. yup. natalo ako. first round palang talo na ako. pero second talo ko sya. kaya may 3rd round pa. close match pero talo parin ako with 800ap left sa AC nya. tae, bwiset, putangina, putang ama talaga. nakakainis. nag practice practice pa ako. bwiset yan. tangina talaga. antagal ko na kasi hindi nag laro nun eh. kulang pa siguro sa practice. pati mga sponsors ko na dimaya. bastos. wag sana ako tanggalan ng higher privils. potah talaga. pero on he good side may rematch kami. sabi nung representative nya, sometime june daw yung next namin laban. shet yan. yari na sakin yun by june. non-stop ako maglalaro. subukan ko rin yung typ-a controls. bagong controls. mas madali daw. pero yung natry ko, mejo nahirapan ako eh. hindi kasi sanay. pero pag nasanay siguro ako madali nga. CR, AKIN KA POTAH, AKIN KA LANG!

profanities huh? fuck you immature bitch.

yehey! update!

2006-04-24T15:11:00.000+08:00

whatever stuff

2006-03-16T21:12:00.000+08:00

so much for the "ipagpapatuloy" entry huh? well, nakakatamad na kasi. halos sa lahat ng bagay tinatamad na ako. tamad mag toothbrush, tamad mag-guitar, tamad mag magic, tamad maglakad ng aso, tamad gumising sa umaga, tamad na talaga. lahat na kinatatamaran ko. kulang nalang tamarin akong mabuhay.

dude, am i bad person? am i a flirty person? feel ko ang sama sama ng ginagawa ko ngayon. maski wala naman masama sa ginagawa ko parang may masamang kutob parin ako. the hell i care, still, taking risks is fun. rewards are good.

for the last 2 1/2 months. ang rami kong pinabayaan sa buhay ko. pero ngayon, man i feel im getting better at these thing again.

1. armored core
*kisagari's sponsoring me again. haha. so much for mirrage.
*title match on april 12 2006. ive held crimson raven once, and dude, ill get it back i promise.
*ayun, weekend matches with team-x (gusto nila ako recruit, sabi ko beat me first, ang tyaga nila grabe.)

2. magic cards
*after church games on neutral grounds. sana makaipon ulet ako para sa booster box. >:D

3. dota
*a lot of hero updates since i was gone. man, need a lot of catching up to do.
*nag papakaadik ulet. mahirap pala kung nagbabago yung skills ng hero. tae. dapat pala hindi ako tumigil.

4. music
* guitar, guitar, guitar
* sing, sing, sing
* write, write, write

dude, im tired. really.

flashback tuloy... and yeah, thinking about it. Im so tired and sick of school, Im itching to graduate fast. new chapter of my life na pls! sigh.

tired. im bad.

leave me blank

2006-03-11T10:58:00.000+08:00

Im having the hardest times lately. I just want to run away. Bring back the way we where before. Ill write you a story. It wont be sad it wont be gloomy. There we'll have our happy endings. There, boys wont cry like they do. A wonderfull world.

IPAGPAPATULOY!

2006-03-04T10:55:00.000+08:00

man, its been so long scince my last enty. bilang ganti. ill tell you everything thats on my head right now. im dying to write.

hmm. main events muna tayo. so for the last 3 weeks ata or 2, maraming kakaibang naganap sa aking buhay. events na naganap atpb. angrami talaga. nagsimula sa tugtugan sa mush pit. pagkabitkabitin nyo nalang pwede? Ill divide my thoughts

MUSIC: uhm, music. masaya. right now im focused at widening my generes and improving my voice. alam nyo ba weird nga mga parents ko eh. simula bata pinagaaral/pinapaaral na nila ako ng ibat ibang musical instruments and ako naman, nahilig tuloy sa music. tapos yung kukunin ko sana yung conservatory of music sa ust and up. man. nagalit. wala daw ako kinabukasan sa mga yun. maski talented daw ako, hindi daw ako magiging succesful. man. badtrip. haha. pinagbigyan ko nalang sila. sabi nga ng 10 comandments, honor thy mother and father. one way of honoring them is by respecting their decisions. tama lang ginawa ko. pinagbigyan ko sila. napagisipisip ko rin kasi, hindi naman ako yayaman dun eh. eh masaya ka ba kung wala kang pera? asa. :) uhm. my bands. sa kasalukuyan 3 ang aking banda. 2 malapit nang mag-disband and 1 na kabubuo pa lamang. yung malapit na mag disband ay yung "lovefist"(na kilala nyo naman siguro) at "go figure" na halos hindi na kami nagc-comunicate ng mga kabandmates ko dito. tapos yung kagagawa naman ay yung all-american rejects tribute band na temporarily naming tinatawag na cubao rejects. haha. love fist; binubuo ni, Paolo Otacan on Voice, Paolo "chopot" Lukban on bass, Justin Gemora on drums, Arian "baboy botchog" Rana on lead guitars and me of course, on 2nd voice and rythm guitars. Napanood nyo naman na siguro kami maski isang beses sa rami ng times na tumutugtuog kami. naka 5 gigs na ata tong band na toh eh. anyway, yung mga times na nakita nyo ako na ako yung kumakanta like the dirtylittleswingswing, vindicated, truly madly deeply, ay dahil ako lang ang may kaya ng mga ganung boses. hindi kaya ni otacan yung mga matataas. infact. ako lang may kaya nun sa buong school. dati si kuya pj ka compete ko sa ganung voice. pero hehe. wala na sha eh. ;) kaya kong abutin mga todo taas nila justin hawkins ng "the darkness", tyson ritter ng "all american rejects, yellow card, hawthrone heights, larc-en-ciel, at iba pang matataas na punkish and glamish. man. ang hindi ko lang talaga kaya ay yung kay sanchez ng "coheed and cambria" pare, sobra lupet, as super. bili kayo album nila pakinggan nyo, tignan natin kung kaya nyo. super hirap promise. pagewnaggewang. sanay ako sa shifting pero hindi sa ganyang level. sobra bilis ng pagpalit. man. lupet talaga.

OK. out of time. next time nalang pagpapatuloy. :) may appointment eh. :D

fuckshit

2006-02-22T19:22:00.000+08:00

mylife right now is a complete trash and shit. many thoughts in my head. just cant right them NOW. yeah. im in deep shit. fuck school, fuck everyone. sigh.

hahaha

2006-02-12T21:22:00.000+08:00

Ive found the answer! I will not change for this girl! I can live without her! I can survive without her! No one can break me! andrew is andrew. and thats that. Im one heck of an adventure. But if you dont like the way I am. sorry for you. but you just missed the ride baby. hahah! Im back mga pare! andrew is back! let the fun times begin again!

everyone walks away

2006-02-11T14:56:00.000+08:00

Everyone walks away
words by Andrew Peralta

Sorry to dissapoint
Im not what you expected
but will you see?
ill change for you and me

Pre-Chorus:
Will you try?, just one more time
for me, for you, bring back your feelings for me

Chorus:
Lets walk slowly
Dont drown yourself in the past
Well, talk slowly
Hold on to me at last
And its getting too late now
have you no regrets?
cause ill walk away, if you wont stay.

Make my life usefull
if youre away it wont be cool
ill figure you out somehow, just let me.
Come back, dont leave me.

maybe

2006-02-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

maybe this is God's decision. for me to change my ways. for me to change. i will change. for the one who inspires me. for the one who makes me smile and happy. ill change for the one i love. ill change. i will. i promise.

then

maybe God would be kind enough. bring back your feelings for me. and give you to me. just maybe. still i wish.

straitjacket feeling

2006-01-26T21:27:00.000+08:00

straitjacket feeling
The All-American Rejects

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on straitjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now my life you're stealing

Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now but you can't win
Take back now my life you're stealing

Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

And when the memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away

Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

Hopeless

2006-01-25T20:51:00.000+08:00

forever i will be weeping because of this. dont let me go. youre my last source of light.

lately im feeling so sick. so tired of this life. lately my inspiration is gone. lately, just lately.
im so down right now. i cried awhile ago like this girl told me. it helped a bit. my life such a mess right now. i dunno why but i have some pretty good guesses. like i said before to my best budd jacques, co-berks chavi and this girl. theese are my problems.

1. I miss my parents so much. Especialy my dad.

2. I'll never get to PMA because of this stupid eyes. shit this sucks.

3. I fucking hate this number.

4. This girl is ignoring me. totaly.

5. This bitch really wants to see my badside.

Okay, my problems might not be a biggy deal to you people. but heck, this is my life. And youre just a guest, reading my thoughts.

number 1. I miss my parents so much. Especialy my dad. For 6 years now if my memory serves me right. Ive been having my birthdays without my dad. Both my dad and my mom are in indonesia right now. i miss them alot. I wish they would come back real soon.

number 2. this particular problem is the main cause why am i so gloomy the past days. it has come to my attention that whatever i do. no matter how hard i try. ill never get into PMA. since childhood, ive been dreaming of following my fathers footsteps. geting into PMA and graduating there. I made it my goal. I made it my life objective. To be like my dad. shit im getting teary eyed again. anyway. if you where me, ano kaya mararamdaman mo now that your dreams are over. your life objective gone away. I feel really bad. Im struggling now on deciding what to do with my useless life. should I end it right now? sucks. I can never get to PMA cause of this stupid eyes. again im getting teary eyed. sheesh. i wish i can talk to someone right now. i want to cry on someone right now. kahit sino shet. i feel really bad. i guess this is really is the end of my dreams. My days are gloomy. fuck.

number 3. I hate this number I promise.

number 4. This girl is ignoring me tottaly. well that sucks. i feel bad about it pero i cant do nothing. I try to smile at her everytime lately. pero wala. ignored. hmm, alam mo ung hindi ka talaga nya papansinin. as in. dagdag pa nung problem 2. kaya ngayon i feel like the most hopeless helpless fool in the world. Instead of her becoming the source of my light on times like this. lalo pa ako natatabunan ng kadiliman. Pero what the fuck. maybe its just me. youre forgiven. honestly.

number 5. ill keep this one classified. dude, im warning you now palang. you dont know me. hindi mo ako kilalang galit. pangalawang beses mo na toh pare. isa nalang talaga. you should say thankyou to jax by the way for helping me calm myslef. isa ka talagang hari ng mga patay. ngayon lang tayo naging mag classmates tapos g-gago gago ka na sakin. tangina mo. behind my smiles stupid guy, is rage willing to explode. dont push me. ill push you back harder. i promise.

yun ang aking mga proplems. it really helped paglagay dito. parang feel ko gumaang ng onti. parang yung nakikipagusap ako kay chavi. sigh. suckers. sorry bout this.

dont think like that

2006-01-21T18:36:00.000+08:00

school. am i sick of school? -ive been trying to answer that stupid question after reading this girl's thought. truth is, for me, school is fun. sometimes it sucks but sometimes its also good.. i love school, in fact, im not that desperate to graduate. if i dont graduate, its God's will. but i do want to graduate of coarse.

it really saddens me to hear people theyre so sick of school. i dont want to partways yet. ayoko pa makipaghiwalay sa mga aking mga ka-batch, ka-teamates, ka-barkada, ka-klase. asar

Refresh

2006-01-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

I like this certain girl, this certain girl that makes my heart beat twice the speed of sound, this certain girl who makes me smile and laugh like a clown, this certain girl beside me, this certain girl im deeply infatuated with. A shame I cant express my feelings, especialy now. Complications in our life, wish we could cry and laugh at them together. Wish she would like me back. Dont want to hurt my friend, dont want to hurt my feelings either. I cant just aproach her and be his rival instantaneously. PUTANGAMA, I wish, oh how i just wish. fuck.

(a repost. i deleted the others. i wanted a new slate.)